


The Sea Slowly Killing Them

by CrystalynnStar



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Beastiality?, Bottom Eren Yeager, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, M/M, Masturbation, Mystery, Nipple Play, Pining, Sea Monsters are the titans, Sea Monsters?, The shore is the wall, Top Levi Ackerman, Yes the boys both have human genitalia, ereri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:03:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29942838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalynnStar/pseuds/CrystalynnStar
Summary: "You lied to us, Hannes, all this time.""I did not." For once he sounded sober, voice as grave as the years of famine etched into his face. "They're like giant serpents with poison and fangs, and no man who has ever entered their waters came back alive. They're monsters, Eren.""Yes, but you never mentioned they look like people."- -An Ereri fantasy.Complete. Just needs editing. Will be 23k words.Updates on weekends.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman & Eren Yeager, Levi Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Comments: 16
Kudos: 63





	1. eviL

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fluffyboots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluffyboots/gifts).



> For the fantastic FluffyBoots, who I will always admire for those long, breath-taking fantasy fics <3 Please I beg you not to kick the bucket without reading them.
> 
> Much love to each of you <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Run! His instincts prodded. Eren resisted. The creature kept inching closer. Shoot it! His more logical brain begged. Eren stayed still. Gradually the rest of Levi’s face rose, until he could see a smooth chin and even the start of a pale, graceful neck. Strange slits seemed carved in both sides of that neck though, the first hint that this creature definitely wasn’t human, yet Eren couldn’t help but be amazed by how lovely it looked...

Eren had once loved the sea. It reminded of simpler days running along the beach with Armin and Mikasa, collecting sea shells and building sand castles together. Their parents would be soaking up sun, waiting for them to tire themselves out… Nowadays however, it seemed no one else felt brave, or else foolish, enough to come visit the water with him. There was something lurking in the water now, allegedly a bloodthirsty creature returned from the days of old, and everybody knew it. There had always been those who were too curious when rumors like that started to fly. Those who needed to know the answer for whatever reason, and in this case, those curious ones… disappeared.

Their clothing would be found discarded on the beach days later, sometimes torn apart, but the victims, so far, had never been so lucky. According to his father, and half the loudmouths in their nearby village, not even pieces of those victims had ever washed up. Instead, it seemed that whatever had taken them must’ve been eating both flesh and bone, leaving nothing behind. “Well at least you’re not wasteful.”

Eren sat on his favorite perch, a large, smooth boulder which afforded a magnificent view of the waves without letting him get too wet. Sometimes the water lapped up high enough to soak his shorts, but if that happened Eren simply took them off. It hardly mattered anyway. Who would see him? No one, because no one ever dared come so close to the water these days. Eren thought this a waste, especially since he had heard all the tales about how his great grandfather had once made a tidy living hauling in the fat, beautiful fish that he knew must still live down there.

Eren was not suicidal, as some liked to claim, and he wasn’t just curious either. He was angry. On their little island, these waters acted as a cage surrounding his people, refusing to let them see the rest of the world. What wonders lay beyond? No one knew because no one had ever gone out and come back. That thing, whatever it was, always claimed them.

Actually Eren personally suspected there were many things down there, likely a whole new species which kept itself well-hidden, trained hunters striking only when it would mean the end of the prey.

“But these are our waters. We should have every right to sail away or fish or anything else we want!” He had said that so many times, and yet even his family shook their heads in shame. Eren wasn't dissuaded. He couldn't afford to be. An island only had so much fertile land that could be dedicated to crops or the raising of livestock, and Eren understood it would never be enough.

“We’ve been living just fine like this for years,” was always their excuse, but Eren didn’t buy it. He had been born here, after all, with eyes matching the same color as the water under summer sun, totally different from both his mother and father, a mystery, and he'd always been drawn to solve them, his own brethren. Whether others accepted or not, Eren had also always known that there had to be more out there for his people. They were kind and simple folk, maybe even too simple, as they seemed not to realize that their numbers were growing while their land and food supply wasn’t until it was already too late. The food shortages naturally became a full blown food crisis, and everyone already knew who would lose the resulting struggles: the people of the outer-lying districts. The less wealthy people... Eren’s people. They would be first to starve, ironically squished up against this basin of what could’ve been endless amounts of fresh food…

If only they could conquer this vicious, awful sea…

“There you are.” He stood abruptly, watching as what looked like a wave of black ink cut its way through the water. Eren strongly suspected no one had ever seen the creature responsible for creating these smoke trails under the water, these distractions, but he knew that somehow destroying this particular one was the key. Unfortunately, the thing moved fast enough that it couldn’t be seen, and the only known method of making it surface was sacrificing humans. Even Eren himself had tried fresh, bloody beef, crab, and so many other delicious treats, but all had failed and he knew that they always would. Because this thing would not settle. It risked approaching only when a human dared to enter its waters.

Why though? Why the hell could the damn thing not just be satisfied with the endless supply of fish? Or even livestock which the villagers once even tried to tie out as a sacrifice, a desperate peace offerings...

Why were humans its only preferred victims?

“I’ll kill you even if it’s the last thing I do…” Lately Eren had come to the water every single day to make that promise. He chose different times but always the same location, and he knew the thing down there noticed because the water near here had begun turning black and smoky. It was down there, perfectly hidden by whatever the hell it was spewing out, and Eren was certain it was watching him, listening for him, and waiting until finally he might step even one foot into the water… _Not a chance._

Even if many others had failed, Eren knew he himself had just what it would take to succeed: his thick head.

For all the teasing and trouble it got him, Eren knew this was his one strength. He never gave up.

But this thing would give up. He swore he could already smell its frustration. Foam and black… whatever swirled before him on this day, just as it always did, growing and growing, but Eren refused to be intimidated.

It was probably male, this obnoxious thing, trying to put on a display to show it owned the sea… _But too bad because this water is my birthright._

Eren walked along the edge of his boulder, as he always did, looking down at the fully blacked out water, a trigger ready in each hand and a dagger tucked into his waistband. “I’m waiting,” he called to that dark water. Only here would it be deep enough for that thing to come right up to him. Everywhere else, the water grew far too shallow as it reached the shore. But here, on his chosen perch, there was a dropoff directly into at least four feet of water. The perfect temptation

That thing could swim right up to the edge, and as soon as he saw it, it was only a matter of what he’d been training to do for years now, spear the thing with a grappling hook.

Not just any weapon would do, though. He’d commissioned this particular contraption using every single scrap of change he’d managed to save up all his life, a deadly machine that could shoot grappling hooks and then real them back in, capturing anything he wanted. One day, he knew he’d be able to take these with him on a boat and go fishing in style with no worries about any monsters tearing apart the boat or catching hold of his fishing line and using it against him. In the meantime though, Eren had tested extensively, learned to aim and shoot each trigger with perfect precision, and now he was ready. He had used these weapons to capture everything from wild squirrels to wild birds flying overhead.

They were quick and efficient and deadly, the perfect match for his target, Levi. Yes, Eren had named it. He had spent so much time with the damn thing already, to the point he felt almost as if he owned it. And one day I will… mounted on my wall.

He noticed something strange as that thought surfaced. More black smoke than usual seemed to be building under this boulder, and it looked darker than he had ever seen…

“You’re here aren’t you!” He’d raised his voice, hoping against hope that the horrible thing could not only hear but understand human language. “Oh Levi… Come out to play…” He felt crazy for singing to this monster, sadistic, but the empty pang in his stomach refused to allow Eren to feel any shame. Already his family was feeling the effects of his failure thus far, and he knew time was running out…

“How about I put down my weapons and give you a head start?” He holstered both triggers in the straps on his shoulders then, trying to tempt the thing he just knew was watching him from the water… “Heck, I’ll even turn around and close my eyes, how about that?”

Eren did just that. Waiting, listening, feeling his heart beating faster in his chest and his hands balling into fists. He could draw fast enough now. His aim was perfect. The only challenge was getting this damn thing to show itself. “Oh Levi….” He tried singing again. “I’m defenseless. Come on out, Levi…”

“Eren? Eren!”

_Oh great._

“Eren, what in the hell do you think you’re doing!” Dumbass Jean Kirstein, was jogging right over, as usual, a sour look on his face. “Get away from the water, you suicidal moron!”

“Better to be suicidal than a coward!” Eren called back, growling out his annoyance when Jean kept right on coming.

“Who’s a coward? I only have to come fetch your dumb ass because no one else is ever brave enough!”

“Thanks for worrying, Mom,” Eren said, sarcastic, “but you’re wasting your time. I’m not leaving when I’m THIS close to victory…” Jean seemed to follow his eyes and study the ridiculously black water.

“Holy shit, Yeager… I’ve never seen that much.”

“Me either. He’s definitely down there, probably listening in on us right now…”

“Ew…” Jean took purposeful steps away from that dark water, probably afraid. Coward. “It won’t come out, you know. They never do.”

“I don’t need it to,” Eren said simply, “Just one tiny peek and BAM, I shoot one of these babies into him.”

“Him, huh? You decided it must be a guy?”

“Actually yes, because of this.” He indicated the thick black stuff staining the water. “He’s challenging me, putting out so much right here where I always sit. It’s a sign.”

“Yeager, seriously,” Jean sighed, “it’s a monster, not a book. Stop trying to read into it as if people like us can ever actually understand the thing.”

“Oh, I understand him, alright, and he understands me. That’s why he never shows himself.” Eren tapped on one of his triggers. “He knows I’m gonna shoot him, BANG, DEAD, just like that.”

“Yeah right. You’ll piss your pants if that thing ever really showed up.”

“Wanna bet?” Eren took a step closer to the water, loving the way Jean’s whole face went pale.

“What are you doing! Don’t get so close!”

“I’m gonna lure him out. It just takes one foot, right?”

“Don’t be crazy. Your mom is gonna murder me if… wait. Do you see that?”

“Yeah…” Eren furrowed his eyebrows, pulling out one of his triggers to aim at the anomaly. What looked like a new cloud of white seemed to be bleeding into the black shrouding the water. “What the hell? I’ve never seen… white.”

And it smelled nice. Eren stood no closer than he always had, and yet his nose picked up more than just the water and waves. This stuff smelled sweet and rich and very familiar. Images of his mom’s famous fruit pies drifted into his head. _Apple? Cherry? Blueberry?_

One thing was for certain, it smelled good, and it looked almost pretty. The white stuff had a shimmer to it, reminiscent of a pearl, and the way it ate through the black seemed almost reassuring. Maybe Levi had left and some other creature had arrived? “This stuff can’t be from Levi-got it!”

Eren had shot on instinct as soon as the first flash of silver arrived, and then he and Jean both jumped back as the grappling gear did its job, reeling in what turned out to be a frantically struggling fish. “Damn it!”

Eren hated wasting fuel, but Jean grabbed the fish before he could yank it right off and toss it.

“That’s perfectly good food, Moron!” Eren glared when he bonked him right on the head, scolding, “everyone’s hungry and yet here you are getting mad at a great catch!” Jean jumped down from the boulder and headed right back toward civilization, and Eren hesitated but inevitably chased after, changing his mind.

“Wait a minute, that’s my fish!”

* * *

\- - - - -

The next day Eren woke bright and early, and for once was allowed to go down to the water without any fuss from his mom. That nice big fish had made a nice, big vat of fish chowder last night, and he almost felt bad about taking advantage of something as basic as Mom’s stomach no longer growling.

Once again he found a deep cloud of black right beneath his boulder, except even more white seemed to have been added overnight. The scent of fresh baked pie was stronger, and one other change caught his attention. Where before Eren never saw any movement, this time he caught glimpses twice, and each time he shot with precision, but each time caught nothing but a large, flopping fish. “What the fuck…”

The second fish was the puzzle piece his brain needed, as Eren had put both of them down on his boulder, and now was able to see both had more damage than just what his grappling hooks had done. The entire left fin had been ripped from both fish, for some reason, but Eren didn’t understand why until the third appeared. For once he did not shoot immediately, recognizing the silver scales, and instead Eren watched this fish. It swam in a circle, rising higher and higher, and at that point he wound up annoyed. _Fish in a barrel._ _Great._ Now he had no idea if his reaction time had been any good or not. These dumb fish had been handicapped all along…

But that wasn’t what most disturbed him. Instead Eren wound up annoyed as he realized _who_ exactly had to have been behind disabling these fish. _Levi_.

“Ha ha, very funny, asshole!” Eren decided to call down to him. “You think this is cute, don’t you? How monsters like you have so much food that you get to play around with it, but people like me have to be hungry every damn day… all because of you!” Of course no one answered, but Eren had still waited many moments. Finally he just scoffed, shot a hook at the last fish and headed home. As furious as he was at that monster for toying with him, he still couldn’t afford to let perfectly good fish go bad.

He felt awful joining Mikasa and Mama at the table that night, especially when his father joined too. “Levi’s toying with us,” he said bitterly, declining his own plate so the other members of his family could enjoy a full fish all to themselves. He hated how they each tried not to look ravenous as they dug in, but Eren could see how their eyes shone with new life, new hope, and he hated himself for it. Meals like this could’ve happened every night if he hadn’t been such a failure. If only he could get rid of that monster waiting to kill anyone who came near, they could have endless fish.

“Eren.” Thankfully Mikasa offered him some relief near the end of dinner. “Let me go out there tomorrow. That way you can rest but we still get fish.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

* * *

\- - - - - -

Eren regretted letting Mikasa take over. He helped Mom around the house for once, doing some heavy lifting which at least made him feel useful, but it also gave her a chance to talk to him too. “Eren… you’ve been gone for three months now. I won’t tell you how to spend your life, because we both know you won’t listen, but I want you to know, you don’t have to take everything on on your own. We all know the sea is the answer but we’re all too afraid of it. You shouldn’t have to shoulder that burden, especially at your young age, and you know, well, sea monsters aren't the only thing that can really hurt a family…”

Eren paused. “I don’t get what you’re trying to say.”

Mama looked around, maybe checking to ensure they were alone. “Stop bringing stuff home,” she said, almost whispering. “It's not your job. Once the famine gets too bad, cowards like your father will be forced to face their fear and take on the sea.” She sighed, wringing her apron in both hands. “I know this might sound harsh, and maybe you’re too young to really hear it, but that’s the duty of the man of the household. If anything happened to you while you were out doing his job? It would destroy your father… and it would destroy me.” She clearly hesitated, but then admitted. “The truth is…we’ve been fighting.”

“WHAT?” Eren had not seen that coming, and the knowledge felt like it injected his heart with ice.

“I’m just so scared for you every day. I can’t understand how a grown man can stay here where it’s safe while his own child risks his life for the sake of our survival… How can I possibly respect a man like that?” She hung her head. “How can I even respect myself? If you die out there because the man I chose to marry wouldn't go…”

“Okay. I get it, Mom.” Eren knew right away what to do, and he went to work as soon as Mikasa returned. She reported seeing the mix of colored smoke in the water, but no fish today, but Eren wasn’t worried. It just gave them more time to do other things. In place of dinner, Eren stood in the center of the kitchen and taught each of them about his grappling gear. He let each of them test it out and practice, and then as a family, they decided to start taking turns.

“Do not touch the water. Just stay on that boulder and wait.”

And that’s what they did… with zero success.

Mom had gone on the first day, returning with nothing but her head bowed and a frown on her face. Dad tried the second and then Mikasa tried the third.

“No fish,” she reported, “but there was something weird…”

Finally Eren found himself on that boulder on day four, and just as Mikasa had claimed, no black smoke whatsoever could be seen. It was all just pure white, and the smell was incredible. It actually made his mouth water, torturing every moment he stood in the spot he’d thought he was used to. For the first time Eren felt temptation to enter the water. That luscious smell just kept wafting up at him, teasing him, and he couldn’t ignore it. Instead he stared right at that water, unflinchingly, but for once he hesitated when he saw something move.

 _A fish? Yep._ After a second or two, he recognized that very same species of meaty silver fish, and he used his grapple to collect it. Once again it had been injured, one fin removed, and when more kept arriving, Eren started to understand. Or… the smell was making him naïve.

“Levi, are these… gifts?” He spotted and caught a total of four before they seemed to stop coming, and Eren couldn’t wait any longer. He had to get away from that smell, and back home where his growling stomach and fuzzy head could find rest.

Mama pan fried the fish and the whole family ate better than ever that night, but another strange revelation occurred.

“I think Levi will only leave the fish if I’m there.”

“Probably trying to get you to touch the poison.” Mikasa had said that matter-of-factly, but Eren raised an eyebrow, further confused when the rest of his family nodded.

“Poison?”

“That disgusting white stuff.” Mikasa’s eyes were wide, like she couldn’t believe her ears. “Don’t tell me you didn’t smell it. Like rotting garbage. I was sure I’d pass out.”

“That’s funny,” Mama said, “it smelled like chemicals to me. Not a good smell at all but not like garbage.”

“Huh.” Dad too disagreed. “To me it smelled like burning hair…”

All eyes turned to Eren, and he felt heat rising in his neck and face. “Sorry, uh, for asking about it at the table.” Everyone seemed happy to change the subject, Mikasa bringing up the species of the fish and how it tasted better than anything she’d ever had, but Eren couldn’t focus. That white stuff had smelled almost intoxicating to him, yet his whole family had been treated to poison instead? _He’s definitely making fun of me…_

And so Eren brought Mikasa along with him the next morning. “What now, Levi?” He glared downward, approaching the water with Mikasa at his side, and sure enough, a fresh blast of new smells arose. _Oh my god_. Eren could not decide if this stuff smelled like concentrated baked pies mixed with wine or just straight up heaven, and Mikasa went wide-eyed.

“It smells totally different now!” She admitted. “Blueberry pie?” Wait a minute. Does that mean-“LOOK!” She rushed to catch hold of him and yanked Eren away from the water, but both siblings wound up wide-eyed and frozen as what looked to be a person poked their head above the surface. “Eren, shoot it!”

“WHAT?” Eren hadn’t even dared to try, and that person startled and disappeared so quickly that he wound up confused about whether he and Mikasa had just had a shared hallucination. “Was that… real?” He tried to look down into the water but the white blocked out everything, and he already knew the creatures down there were near impossible to even catch a glimpse of.

_Why show up now?_

Eren couldn’t understand it, and he couldn’t help but regret having missed his chance. Not only had that person had a stunningly beautiful flushed face, with dark hair and light skin, but they looked… intoxicated? Eren knew exactly why. They were floating in that potent white stuff, and he swore he himself could end up just like that if he ever dared touch it.

“That white stuff poisoned him...” Mikasa kept ahold of Eren, not letting him move any closer. “I told you. It’s a trap.”

“You’re sure it was a guy?”

“Yeah. Pretty one, but a guy.” Levi! Could it really be? But Levi had only ever turned the water black when he came around, didn’t he? Why the change?

“It almost seems like… a peace offering.”

“Huh?” Mikasa seemed confused at best but Eren nodded.

“It smells good only when I’m around, and then the fish appear, but they’re always missing a fin so it’s easy for me to catch them even without having to go into the water. It’s like… maybe not all the monsters down there are bad.”

“Eren listen to yourself.” Mikasa sighed, seeming empathetic. “You’ve been out here too long. Those things _eat_ people, don’t forget that. If it changed then that’s only because its earlier tactic wasn’t working. You refused to enter the water when it used the black cloud so now it’s trying the white. The end. Period.” She took him by the shoulders, serious eyes on his. “If you get in the water, we’ll never see you again. Please don’t forget that.”

It wasn’t easy, but Eren processed those words, realizing he’d been insensitive. “Sorry. I won’t go in the water, I promise.”

“Do not put a single finger in the water, understand? That’s exactly what it wants.”

“Got it.” Mikasa headed home then, but Eren waved her along on her own. She seemed concerned but also seemed to sense that he needed some time alone since she inevitably continued.

Eren stayed on his same favorite boulder meanwhile, sitting with eyes staring wistfully at the white water. What could all of this mean, really? Why had that thing actually looked like a person? All the stories had told of vicious, snakelike creatures with fangs and claws, and that’s exactly what Eren had always pictured. _We were wrong._ Still, that hardly changed anything. He had seen the widows sobbing in the streets even when he was young and Eren knew whatever was in the water was definitely responsible for the disappearances of every man who’d ever touched it…

So why couldn’t he get this new feeling out of his head? This feeling that Levi was beautiful and maybe even becoming vulnerable... He’d stuck his head out of the water, and normally Eren would’ve shot immediately, likely killing him. _So why?_

Eren found himself sitting, studying and trying to picture how today had been different. Mikasa had been here, that was new, and _she’d_ seen Levi first. That thought annoyed Eren. It was almost as if Levi wouldn’t ever show up unless he himself wasn’t looking… _Hmm._

Deciding to test this, Eren put his face in his hands, sighing loudly as if he were exhausted. From the cracks of his fingers, though, he made sure to keep his eyes trained on the water. With this stance, anyone would surely expect he had fallen asleep, and honestly that was what Eren wanted to do.

The water looked so calm today, beautiful, and the new shimmering white beneath its surface only enhanced that. Could it really be true that the white meant poison? The black seemed to obscure sight and nothing else, but this new color held that warm wafting scent, and at that point, more than ever, Eren understood how even the cowardly men of his village could’ve been lured into this water… _Holy shit!_ There it was again!

Eren made sure to stay perfectly still, watching as the first suspicious signs rose from that stained white water. Perfectly black hair emerged first of all, in total and complete silence, and then that same beautiful face carefully rose. Eren couldn’t believe his own eyes. The thing seemed incredibly skilled, or else how could it do this in total silence? It stayed ducked very low to the water though, dark eyes curious as it seemed to study him. Was this thing really Levi? His nemesis? The enemy of his people? It seemed almost to float closer, half of its face still concealed in the water, and it took everything in Eren to stay still and keep pretending not to see. Maybe Levi thought he was asleep…

 _Run!_ His instincts prodded. Eren resisted. The creature kept inching closer. _Shoot it!_ His more logical brain begged. Eren stayed still. Gradually the rest of Levi’s face rose, until he could see a smooth chin and even the start of a pale, graceful neck. Strange slits seemed carved in both sides of that neck though, the first hint that this creature definitely wasn’t human, yet Eren couldn’t help but be amazed by how lovely it looked...

Embarrassingly he recalled the reason he’d picked out the name, "Levi." It was just the word “evil” but with the last letter removed and tacked onto the front. Now Eren wasn’t sure the name really fit at all. Levi seemed… docile, possibly just as scared of him as Eren himself felt. He could not recall letting his guard down like this before, so this was likely the very first time Levi had emerged and been able to really get a good look at him.

_What the hell are you, Levi? What do you want?_

If Levi really had just wanted his next human meal, why send out foul smells to everyone else? They were human too, just like Eren, and in fact they were his family, so no other humans could possibly be more similar to Eren… Finally Eren noticed something familiar. Levi had moved close enough to catch hold of the boulder and pale fingers slid from the water, tipped with what definitely looked to be claws, and Eren also noticed the slight imperfect shape of his peach pink lips as well, the two soft indents likely caused by concealed fangs…

Levi cocked that pretty head though, and didn’t seem willing to move any closer. He just blinked those dark, shiny grey eyes and studied Eren. Maybe he might’ve been sleepy or else still intoxicated, because those eyes seemed half lidded, and again Eren noticed a pink flush appear on Levi’s otherwise totally pale face. _He should stop swimming here._ Clearly the white stuff effected him, making him reckless, just as it had threatened to do to Eren. _I could shoot him now…. Maybe._ If he could just very slowly move his hand until he reached a trigger…

 _Nope._ As soon as Eren so much as twitched, Levi zipped out of sight. Even the water seemed only barely disturbed, and so once again Eren was left wondering if Levi was some sort of mirage. _How the hell does he move so fast?_ Whatever body parts Levi was still hiding under the water must’ve been anything but human. No human could’ve had power like that, to propel them away fast enough that the human eye couldn’t track...

_He’s stronger than me, huh?_

But then why didn’t Levi just leap from the water and drag Eren in? _Wait no._ Eren could still shoot him then, and imagining that scenario, Eren was sure that he would.

 _But he can._ Just that fact disturbed him. If he’d wanted to, Levi could definitely spring out from the water and drag Eren under, possibly even hold him down long enough to drown him or just rip into him and start eating right then and there.

Maybe it was a cowardly move, but his mother’s voice echoed in his head and Eren decided to head home. He had so much to think about now, so much new information to process, and yet felt he had no new answers. Besides, Levi would still be right here tomorrow, as always.

He pretended to stretch, as if waking up from a nap, then stood and dusted himself off. He hesitated by the water though, looking down at that frustratingly obscuring white cloud. “Goodbye for now, Levi… I guess.”

He had no idea whether Levi even understood that, but Eren couldn’t help but feel it wouldn’t hurt to be… less hostile. There was no change at all in the water, and Eren even suspected the white stuff was beginning to clear. _Did he leave?_

Well, it shouldn’t matter. Eren headed off, thinking it really shouldn’t, but he hadn’t even hopped down from that boulder before a splashing commotion had him whirling back around, on edge. Oh. A fish flopped helplessly right where he’d only just been resting, and Eren approached, noting the missing left fin once again.

He did study the water as he picked it up, but again could see nothing. “Um, thank you, Levi.”

* * *

\- - - - - - - -

Eren returned to his favorite perch bright and early the next day, only to find normal, clear water waiting for him. “Levi?”

He felt somewhat silly, but continued to call out, louder and louder, while hopping down and deciding to explore the shore nearby. Here the sand was a beautiful white, but Eren still felt nervous taking even the most shallow step into the water. It had been necessary to take off both his socks and his shoes, an idea he despised, but he wanted to wander until he could draw close to water deep enough that a seamonster could hide itself. Still he caught not a hint of the familiar black or white stain in the water, but instead of relief, which he knew he should feel, Eren felt only dread.

“Levi? LEVI?” The further he walked from his favorite perch the more his hopes dwindled. Surely Levi wouldn’t wander so far? Or…well actually, Eren knew that idea was stupid.

Why should he feel like some sort of anchor for such a rare and magnificent creature? Levi didn’t need him, afterall, and the more he wandered that shore, feeling lost, the more Eren was forced to recognize that. Once his boulder had been left behind far enough to look more the size of a dog, Eren knew it was time to head back, but he didn’t stop calling Levi’s name, and his body began to felt strange, as if overwhelmed by the solitude. “Why did you leave?”

Eren knew he should feel trepidation, or rather he knew that was what he’d once feel. Surely his enemies, the monsters of the sea, were just luring him into a false sense of security. They had learned he would never be foolish enough to go into water tainted by their clouds, not even those nice white ones, and now offered something which looked empty and safe.

He would not fall for it. But he’d keep calling out for Levi.

Near the end of the day, Eren felt genuinely sleepy, his weapons heavy on his hips just like the lids he knew wanted to slide fully closed over his eyes. “I fucked up, didn’t I? I scared Levi away.” Or else some other creature had shown up when he’d left and chased the poor, pretty creature away.

Eren knew that was much more likely. Levi had not seemed afraid so much as he’d seemed sharp. He knew humans like Eren were not friendly toward the sea. All they did, really was leave trash around or, in days past, plunder its stock of fresh fish.

Thinking about fish made Eren’s stomach twinge, reminding that he had so foolishly left before Levi could gift many fish yesterday, and so unfortunately that meant his family had eaten that much less for dinner. The sun was nearly totally gone, so low in the sky that Eren could no longer see more than the pinks and purples it painted the sky with, so he gathered his things and decided to finally give up and head home.

The next day passed in much the same way, except this time Eren had the echoes of his parents arguing stuck in his head. They had waited until late at night at least, but he’d wandered down for a glass of water and managed to hear through their shut door. Usually Eren felt like the man he was, old enough by their village’s standards to even move out on his own and even take a wife, but that night he’d felt small and helpless.

This small family was all he’d really known, other than kids at the rickety old school he’d already graduated, and the thought that it might not be able to whether the famine made his stomach hurt even more than the hunger. This was a new sort of an emptiness, something deeper and laced with dread, like poison creeping through his heart and brain. If Mama wanted, Eren knew she could choose to leave his father and choose a different husband. She was beautiful and popular and she always had been.

Most days Mama was out “working magic” which really meant making new friends or cozying up to old ones who might give her work for the day or even free meals or necessities she could bring home.

It had been one of these old friends who’d helped Mama find Mikasa, and for that Eren had always been grateful. But a new family member had also meant a new mouth to feed, and things had been much harder ever since. Eren knew Mikasa felt the guilt of that every day, and he suspected that was why she worked so hard to pick up odd jobs of her own even on top of always helping out around the house. The place stayed immaculate, in fact, and in good repair thanks to the combined efforts of her and Mama.

Father was, by trade, a doctor, but because there was so little land, there was also little he could still do in the way of foraging for medicinal herbs. Work required he travel for days just to find what he needed, and that proved impractical, as most herbs died by the time he completed the journey back. More and more, Eren let the implications of what this meant seep in.

His father would have to leave for good. The home he had grown up in was near the water, not the forest, and Father needed herbs from the forest to put his skills to use. People needed Father’s cures, and they relied on his knowledge and his kindness. He had always been the type who would treat even strangers for free or what he called “I O U” coupons. They would simply write, “I owe you,” then enter an amount and reason on a slip of paper, and Father took that as payment. Eren knew he pinned those to the wall in his secret office in the basement, a collection of trophies of sorts. Those were lives he had saved with no real guarantee he would ever be paid in much more than appreciation and whatever little gifts where the already impoverished villagers could spare. Eren knew Grisha was proud of those little slips of paper, and he himself had always felt a swell of pride in his chest when he saw them too.

Thinking back on such things made him smile, but sadly, as he stared down at the clear, empty water today.

“Dad’s a good guy… but am I?” Eren felt foolish sitting out here wasting time. Maybe he should be back at the town with Mama, looking for heavy lifting to do. At the very least maybe he could find someone who needed wood cut and then ask to take some to keep their small home warm tonight. In at least one way their family was also lucky. Being so close to so many sources of water meant their home was not the warmest but it was one of the few with crystal clear running water. Mama often wound up making large vats of soup and other such dishes and trekking them over to the other side of town, where she was always welcomed with open arms. Too open, in Eren’s opinion. He hated the idea of the men that undoubtedly lived over there, waiting for pretty little Carla to wander over because she had no other choice. Cozying up to her, hungry for more than just her fantastic cooking skills…

Still Eren waited.

More days passed and he noticed himself losing weight, but he couldn’t care.

Whenever food had arrived at the house, he’d insisted Carla should eat it first. Honestly, he would always have done so, but now more than ever, he did not want his mother going hungry. Days continued to pass and the fear grew into a gnawing misery ever present in his chest. He would have to do something. If Mama were allowed to go hungry or figure out her children were… I can’t let that happen.

Because here was the sea. Teeming with fish as it always was, right in front of him, calling to him as it always had, and he knew, in his very soul that he was right on the cusp of finding the answer…


	2. Suicide or Sacrifice, "There is no Plan C"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m sorry Armin.” Finally he dropped the act, putting his heart into pleading eyes as he leaned in slowly, as if about to kiss him, “but this is something I have to go do alone.” He stroked Armin’s hair, tucking it back behind one of his ears. “If you really do care, please, someone has to be there for my mom. Please don’t let her starve.”
> 
> For Eren, time seemed somehow to slow in that moment. He’d leaned forward with purpose, lips puckered and ready to actually kiss his poor friend if need be, but just as expected, he heard sudden splashing and wound up instead knocked clear off his feet, tumbling from that boulder in a ball of wet limbs, angry hissing and then, suddenly, sand, pain… and blood? That was NOT what Eren had expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is all about feels. If I pulled it off, please throw me some love. If not, please feel free to throw shade. XD
> 
> Rated E. Filthy Eren is filthy.
> 
> Much love, as always, to each of you, especially FluffyBoots! 
> 
> Thank you for the inspiration!

“Hannes? Psst!”

“Eh?” The ever-present guard by the back gate straightened up and looked around, spotting Eren even in the dark, as he’d brought along a small candle and used it to illuminate his had as he waved. Luckily Hannes meandered right over, bringing along the strong scent of alcohol which, for once, Eren was happy to detect. He led the blonde man deeper into the darkness and caught hold of one of his arms, moving close so they could converse in whispers.

“Hannes, I need your help and you’re the only one I know’s brave enough.”

“Brave enough, or dumb enough?” Hannes joked, hiccupping. “Sorry.”

“This is serious,” Eren scolded. “Listen, remember all those bullshit stories you used to tell us growing up? About how some sea monsters were actually pretty?” Suddenly a chill seemed to blow through the air and Hannes made a face Eren had never seen on him. “Remember?”

Silence stretched between them like a dark, living entity, but finally Hannes looked away, muttering, “so you finally saw one.” I knew it!

“You knew I would, didn’t you? That’s why you guys kept teasing me about going out there all these weeks.”

“It’s been months, Eren,” Hannes corrected, suddenly sounding sober, and Eren immediately wondered if the harmless drunk he’d grown to know had ever really even existed. “No one ever believed me.”

“Well, I do, but now I know you lied to us, all this time!”

"No, everything you’ve heard is true." For once he sounded sober, voice as grave as the years of famine etched into his face. "They're like giant serpents with poison and fangs, and no man who has ever entered their waters came back alive. They're monsters, Eren."

Eren whispered harshly. “Except you guys never mentioned they look like people!” Hannes was silent, but Eren knew he was shuffling his feet, avoiding his eyes on purpose. “Okay fine, Hannes listen, remember that other story you told us like a billion times, about how my dad saved your wife from that plague that killed all those people?”

“Yes,” Hannes sighed. “You weren’t even born yet and your father was already my hero.”

“Yeah, well he’s about to be a divorced hero, Hannes.” The man before him startled, just as Eren knew he would. “If we can’t reclaim the sea, our family doesn’t stand a chance. Please, if you have any clue how we can win against them you have to tell me.”

“We’re already winning.” Eren stared, surprised by the clear and sudden admission. “This right here,” Hannes stamped a foot in the ground, “is all we have to do, stay put on dry land.”

“Wait… what?”

“They can’t reproduce, that’s what I’m saying,” Hannes explained, though his voice went so quiet Eren hardly heard it. “That’s the ‘top secret’ plan the government doesn’t want you to know: do nothing. Supposedly the things used to be human and because of that they can’t breed with anything but a human. That’s why it’s illegal, especially for our women, to ‘manifest interest in the sea,’ or whatever. As long as we stay on dry land, no new monsters can ever be born. A war of attrition.”

“That's just suicide,” Eren hissed. “Murder suicide.”

“But who cares?” Hannes gestured around. “The people are hungry but they’re not getting ripped apart. The wealthy ones will just stay in the inner circle while us humble folk die out with the monsters. In the end, humanity still wins.”

“I can’t accept that, Hannes, and how the fuck could you?”

“It’s the peaceful solution, Eren. That’s what all people want, isn’t it? A peaceful life.”

“A peaceful death, is what you’re talking about. Don’t you get that?” Eren sighed. “Listen, I saw one of those things and I know it was strong enough to get me but it didn’t. What if some of them are friendly?”

“Oh, they’re friendly I’m sure,” Hannes joked, face darkening. “Friendly enough to lure in and kidnap our women, just like Armin’s poor mom.” His tone became deathly serious as he seemed to catch that slip up too late. “Oh hell-Do NOT tell Armin! The poor boy is much better off just thinking they ate her!”

“Wait, so you’re saying the story about Armin’s parents and their boat… that was a cover up?”

“I’ve said too much already, Eren. Listen.” Hannes put a hand on his shoulder. “You know you’re like a son to me, right? We’ll get through this together but I gotta beg you not to go in that water. My theory is those things are all male. That’s gotta be why they can’t reproduce on their own. If a female gets caught she might be kept alive by those things, but a male’s just fresh meat on a bone.”

“If they can’t reproduce then there can’t be too many in there,” Eren argued. “I’ve been watching for months and I only found one, then that one disappeared too. What if the war of attrition is already won?”

“What are you suggesting? We send out a human sacrifice to see if the last one died off or not? Don’t be crazy.”

“No, I’m suggesting there must be more ways to-”

“SHHH!” Hannes hurriedly put a hand over his mouth, but a strange sound alerted it might’ve been too late for that, and he suddenly shoved Eren, hissing, “Go! Don’t do anything stupid, you hear me! Stay away from the water and we’ll figure this out together: a garden or something, anything!”

Eren ran through the darkness, obedient enough for at least that, but even as he recognized the worry in the voice of that man he trusted, he could not fight the new ideas swirling around in his head. He remembered the fresh scent of mixed berry pies and the way Levi had watched him. Remembered that light flush on his face and the way he’d ignored and even repulsed Carla and Mikasa and even Dad.

To Eren that proved exactly what Eren had suspected: _he’s not gonna eat me_. There was only one thing that Levi could’ve been after, then, and Hannes had accidentally given the final piece of the puzzle Eren had needed to make his decision.

Tomorrow, at first light, he would enter the water.

* * *

Greeting Mom and Mikasa over breakfast the next morning made guilt gnaw at Eren’s stomach, but he tried to act as natural as possible. He decided to take one last bath, for once grateful for the clean running water, even if it was always cold, and then he would even brush his hair. He wanted to be as clean and tempting as he could, after all.

_Levi wants me._

That idea solidified only more as the minutes ticked by. He had thought this was war with only two options, either kill or be killed, but now Eren realized a third option had been there from the moment that first silver fish had been offered to him.

There was now one human, just one, who might enter the water without being ripped apart, and that meant humanity still had one hope, Eren. If he agreed to give Levi whatever it was he wanted, surely he could convince him to keep providing those lifesaving silver fish for his family.

Late last night, Eren had struggled to sleep, new, awful ideas leaking in with the new hope. What if creatures like Levi could do more than just eat male humans? What if they could do things like lay eggs in a belly? In that case Eren wasn’t as safe as he’d hoped, and yet even still, he felt his sacrifice would be worth it. If Levi really would be willing to keep feeding his family, Eren knew he would be willing to trade anything, even if it meant something awful like eggs in his belly or even letting Levi’s people eat him one limb at a time, even while he was still alive.

 _It’s worth it... But surely he wouldn't. Surely he wants me for a lover. He must._ Eren said that inwardly as he unplugged the tub and let the water drain out all around him. He then plugged it right back up again and this time let the cold reassure. This was how the sea would feel, how his new home would feel, but hopefully less lonely, with the added warmth of a graceful, beautiful new companion. Eren let himself think about what his new partner might look like, remembering the old stories Hannes used to tell and only then understanding just how forbidden they’d been. He’d spoken of creatures beyond worldly beauty, with skin bright as moonlight because they only emerged from the water in moonlight. He had talked about silky, always moisturized hair and soft fingers that had never been made to toil with tools or even pencils… Eren felt certain Levi must be just like that, and he let himself dream for what felt like the first time in ages.

He imagined smooth skin against his own, wrapped neatly over a muscular, well toned body, so different from his own, untouched by famine. And while Eren’s own complexion was warm, owning to many days working in the hot sun, Levi’s would be light and delicate after a lifetime below the surface of the water. Levi’s lips had also been pale, thin and elegant, and surely they would be soft and supple, perfectly moisturized, and possibly even hungry for things other than food. Levi wouldn’t be starved after all, so he’d take his time, wouldn’t he?

Curious and purposeful, just as he’d been before, surely Levi would accept Eren’s offer to let him inspect and even taste test everything which could soon be his. Like a living dessert, Eren would willingly lay himself out, no matter if Levi wanted him on the smooth surface of his boulder or, more likely, on the shore, where the water met the land. That way Eren could still breathe just as he breathed now, harder and harder, while Levi stayed in the comfort of cold water, teasing before fully enjoying him.

How exactly would Levi decide to claim him? Eren didn’t know, but already he could watch in real time as his body responded to the thought alone. Cold water or no, fearful or no, he was ready, excited. And maybe it was wrong, but he shut off the water, new plans in mind and stepped out of the bath to instead wrap himself in only a towel. Very soon, he would be wet and vulnerable just like this once again, anyway. He’d be dripping and shivering, surely, just as he felt now, returning to his room. At that time there would probably be no door to close, and no soft mattress to fall back onto, but Eren made use of these for now, then reached over and chose his most portable bottle of oil.

This, he’d have to be sure to bring, but just in case, he told himself, it would be much smarter to prepare just in case. That in mind, he drizzled a generous amount between his legs before corking and keeping it near. Then, finally lie back and let himself be lost to warm, slippery sensations and sordid ideas. He imagined heat starting to swallow him, inch by inch, similar to the graceful way Levi had revealed his perfect, breath taking face. Maybe those pretty lips would be hungry for him but still graceful and careful, and maybe a curious tongue would explore the underside and then the smooth texture of his tip. Prep was of course, necessary, and felt almost painless today, with the help of not only the oil but also that numbing, cold water which yielded, gradually, to slick, probing heat.

Given that he seemed so much stronger, Eren had no trouble imagining Levi being the dominant type, both ready and willing to take charge with no problem whatsoever. It was his preference for the most part, anyway, but Eren suspected he’d have no complaints either way, especially considering how beautiful Levi was to him. Even just thinking about him had Eren ready to the point of dripping even now, and he had to imagine maybe he should not have been quite so distracted with standing in front of and cursing the sea for so long.

There had been no time for indulgences like these, purely because he believed such efforts wouldn’t help solve the famine, but now Eren had to accept that practice in this would likely prove far more valuable than the many hours spent on grappling, aiming, and sword-wielding. Then again, he suspected Levi might find his rougher, calloused hands just as exotic as Eren imagined his softer, more delicate fingers would be. They could get the job done, either way, and of that much Eren felt certain. Already he could see a neat, shiny trail connecting the beads his trained fingers now milked from his own tip, and at the same time, his other hand worked himself open with trained yet careful precision.

Admittedly, Eren liked this view, watching his own abs receive the slick, leaking result of his hand pumping, twisting sometimes and then others teasing. He liked prying still more fingers into himself and enjoying the slight burn and stretch, but more so the deep prodding and curling against that sweet spot which rewarded luscious waves of ever more decadent pleasure. He imagined the pretty Levi kneeling between his legs, willingly spoiling him in exactly this same way, delicate fingers squeezing pleasure out of him while simultaneously pumping it into him, faster and faster. His silky, wet lips would be tempted in no time, however, and those already dark eyes of his would grow even darker watching how pretty it all looked, bobbing and dripping, and he’d surely dip down and take Eren, inch by grateful inch into that hot and sinfully beautiful mouth. “Ah-fuck.”

That image had been just one nudge too many, suddenly shoving Eren unceremoniously off the edge he’d been so thoroughly enjoying. He briefly tossed his head back and let himself writhe through the sweet, pumping waves of climax, but also let himself steal a glance downward, just to watch how beautiful it looked squirting and then flowing out. Finally, like the tide, he came back down from this admittedly glorious high, gradually and gratefully, and maybe it was just the bliss naturally left behind, but in that moment Eren was able to dare imagine things might turn out alright. His partner would love him, surely, already prepped and slicked up for him. Already trained and adoring...

Eren let himself think about that as he sat up and made short work of cleaning himself up, and he let himself also feel grateful that Levi had given the gift of his attentions to him. Eren had never been the most talented in his class or even in his small family. In fact, he often felt like the opposite, and maybe that was why he always felt driven to try and try and try. He had _that_ at least, tenacity, but now he also had something else, something so natural he’d overlooked it: his body. _How funny,_ he couldn’t help but to think as he wrapped said body in only loose-fitting shorts and an easy to remove button up top. It had been here with him all along, tempting Levi by simply repeatedly drawing so close to his waters. In a way Eren could even guess he’d been keeping Levi on the edge, teasing, drawing him into a similar existence seeming to only consist of clawing, growing hunger...

It was flattering frankly, but as Eren exited his bedroom, he walked by the first reminder that this would come with a very heavy cost. Mikasa greeted with that sweet voice of hers and then Mama, of course did the same, just as she always had. He could feel the love in their voices and their eyes, but he felt it swelling with the guilt and pain in his gut too, when he noticed that once again Mama looked thinner, and as soon as she thought he was looking away, Mikasa looked sadder...

 _No more._ They deserved so much better and he knew exactly who could save them.

Eren also knew he would likely never see their faces again, but he still only naturally, casually waved goodbye to his sister and mom. He strapped on his gear near the door, just as usual, and allowed himself to add only a little bit extra to his usual farewell. “I’m headed out, love ya!”

And with that he rushed off, not daring to look back. This was it. His old life fell away with every running step, bit by bit.

The fresh morning air whipped through his hair as he ran and the dirt and sand at his feet seemed to crunch with a new beauty. Small or not, impoverished or not, he loved this little village and every single person inside of it. Eren loved them, and that was why he knew he’d have to be the one sacrificed for their survival.

Visions of bloodthirsty seamonsters swam through his head. Still Eren ran. He imagined strong jaws ripping into his newly bathed flesh, ripping chunks off and tossing it back. Still Eren ran. Maybe he'd been a fool. Maybe pretty faces would be streaked with ugly red blood and greedy lips would be licked clean, just like his own bones… and still Eren ran.

 _Wait…shit._ Eren only had to slow once he’d gotten close enough to catch sight of his favorite boulder and the very unwelcome blonde human trespassing there. At first he’d expected to find Hannes, but the reality was much worse.

Disapproving blue eyes glared right into his as soon as Eren arrived and climbed up.

“So that’s it, Eren?” His voice was unusually icy. “You were just gonna go kill yourself without even saying goodbye to your so-called best friend?”

Eren hesitated but inevitably decided there was no point lying. Armin Arlert was too sharp for that anyway, and the glare on his usually gentle face promised Eren he meant business. “I know it must sound crazy, but I have to do this.”

“No, you don’t!” Armin snapped. “Eren, why are you always like this? You keep trying to leave us behind when you know we would follow you into even hell itself!” Was he talking about himself and Mikasa?

Eren believed so. He just stared at those blue eyes and finally answered. “I love you. That’s why.” Armin stared back at him with liquid pain beginning to build in his eyes. “You guys mean more to me than anyone else. I want you to live long, happy lives.”

“That doesn’t mean we can just let you go die for us.” Armin sounded resolute. “Hannes is going to talk to Mikasa too. We’re coming with you.”

“WHAT?”

“Tomorrow,” Armin said, nodding stiffly. “Tomorrow, right here, or even later tonight, we will be here and ready. If you’re going past the shore then we are too.”

“Don’t be stupid! I’m only going because one of them likes me! If you two-”

“From what Hannes said, they’ll like Mikasa just fine too.”

“NO.” Eren found himself fuming and even stomped, raising his voice. “And don’t ever say something like that about my sister ever again!”

“Then you’d better stay,” Armin said simply. “Those are your options, Eren. Either all three of us go, or you stay here with us, we team up with Hannes, and we make this thing work. There is no option C.”

Eren froze. Just as Armin said that, “Option C” poked its curious head right up out of the water and Eren had to quickly pretend not to have seen. “Armin…” He kept gritting his teeth, careful not to change his expression. “Act. Natural.”

Luckily his best friend caught on immediately, and maintained a harsh tone, pretending to still be arguing. Once again Armin proved himself a quick thinker, as he carefully seemed to stress only certain words, sending a hidden message. “How could you leave us **BEHIND**?”

“I have to, don’t you get that!” Eren played along. “The **MONSTER** s are waiting and the end of the line is **CREEPING** up on us!”

“Then we ought to be smart and **RUN** shouldn’t we?”

“You’ve got no **IDEA** what you’re talking about!” Eren shoved Armin, making him walk backward until they stood mere feet from the water. He couldn’t risk looking to ensure Levi might still be watching, but Eren already suspected what would happen when he caught Armin’s face and caressed, making his poor friend turn red.

“I’m sorry Armin.” Finally he dropped the act, putting his heart into pleading eyes as he leaned in slowly, as if about to kiss him, “but this is something I have to go do alone.” He stroked Armin’s hair, tucking it back behind one of his ears. “If you really do care, please, someone has to be there for my mom. Please don’t let her starve.”

For Eren, time seemed somehow to slow in that moment. He’d leaned forward with purpose, lips puckered and ready to actually kiss his poor friend if need be, but just as expected, he heard sudden splashing and wound up instead knocked clear off his feet, tumbling from that boulder in a ball of wet limbs, angry hissing and then, suddenly, sand, pain… and blood? That was NOT what Eren had expected. Sharp teeth lodged in his neck and hot something squirted from them, right into his bloodstream, but then suddenly he was released and left alone on the sand.

Although he’d heard the splashing, Eren’s brain was rattled by his fall, and heat like he had never experienced burst from his neck and made thinking impossible. He could hear more splashing and horribly familiar screaming, but the world seemed to spin and nothing made any sense. He had glimpsed the tail, though, long and powerful, just as Hannes had described, like an onyx cobra, but then it was gone just as quickly as ever, and yet Eren was left on the beach.

The silence dug more pain into him than those fangs had, and his heart knew before his brain processed what must’ve happened. He rolled onto all fours, head pounding and vision blurring, but still forced himself onto his feet. There was blood everywhere, streaked all over his once favorite perch and spattered in the sand, but he stood alone.

Armin was gone.

* * *

Eren couldn’t even remember how he’d gotten home. His whole world was nothing but confusion and pain and raw, torturous guilt.

“I thought he would take me,” he swore, humiliated as his snot and tears soaked the familiar warmth of his mother’s chest.

“Eren please, you have got to stay still,” Father’s voice repeatedly reminded from behind, while multiple hands tightened on his shoulders.

“Patch it up already,” Mikasa demanded, “he’ll bleed to death!”

“Don’t,” Mother argued, “keep sucking out the poison!”

“There’s like ten liters already on the floor!”

“Both of you please let the doctor work!” For once Hannes didn’t smell like a walking sack of old booze bottles, but that didn’t make Eren any happier to see him.

“This is your fault,” he spat bitterly. “Why’d you go and tell Armin?”

“The fact that you’re here with a bite taken out of you proves I was right,” Hannes said simply. “I knew you’d go right out there and let that thing get its fangs into you unless someone you actually listen to talked you down.”

“BETTER ME THAN ARMIN!” Eren had yelled right in his face, half delirious, but he couldn’t regret even when everyone else seemed stunned into silence. “Don’t you get it? Armin doesn’t stand a chance against Levi, and now Armin’s grandpa stands no chance either. He’s too old to work, and now he has no family left! Who’s gonna keep that poor old man from starving to death?”

Eren just let his sorrows dribble out with the white liquid and stark red blood he could see dripping on the wood floor of his family’s home. “Armin had a brain, not like me. Armin had a future,” he admitted. “I have nothing. I’m not good at fighting like you or cooking like mom. I’m crap at medicine, not like Dad, and I’m not resourceful and useful like Mikasa. Now I found one thing, one thing I could finally do for you guys and you won’t let me do it!”

Everyone was silent. These were things Eren had never dared to say, and yet he knew all of them to be true. He had always been average at best. Always been unhappy, but at least he had always been brave. “You guys say you love me, but it’s you keeping me in this life I hate. You make me stay here, another one of the cattle, and you do it because you’re selfish, not because it’s right. What’s right is humanity retaking the sea. What’s right is me doing my duty for my family, and you know it. We all do.”

Again Eren was met with nothing but silence. Mama kept her arms around him, but he gradually started to feel her shoulders shake with sobs. Mikasa stalked off into another room, and Dad seemed to just keep working. Eren felt the clean rag rubbing over his throbbing new wound but then also a smooth, soothing balm and finally a bandage being neatly wrapped around it.

“Eren please…” finally Mama spoke and he sat up to meet her eye to eye. “Eren, my only son, please let us find some other way!”

“Mere words aren’t going to convince him,” Father’s soft voice admitted. “We of all people should already know that, Carla.”

“SHUT UP!” She stood abruptly, face turning red and hands balled into fists. “This is all your fault to begin with! If you’d just pick up a new trade-”

“Mama stop!” Mikasa had run into the room and stood between Carla and Grisha, voice firm. “Don’t you understand you two fighting makes Eren want to leave even more?”

Again silence fell, and Carla’s eyes stared hard at the ground. “What more can I do?” She rubbed her eyes, turning to her daughter. “I’m pretty and I’m good at cooking, but that doesn’t help anything when there’s no food to cook.” She hugged herself, voice dripping with shame. “I’m pretty. Men love me… but that won’t keep my family fed. And I love you.” She looked directly at Grisha. “I love all of you… but still… I just feel so helpless. What can I do?”

“That settles it.” All eyes turned to Grisha, whose authoritative voice had always held command. “I have a confession.” He sighed, reaching into the front of his shirt and extracting the little brass key that had always made Eren’s eyes light with curiosity. “I know… someone in the inner city. Someone very wealthy and well connected. He carefully handed Eren the key. “I also have… extra space in the basement. Eren, you’ll need to go there while I am away, for one week, understand?” He wasted no time, packing up his supplies and putting on his hat and coat. “I’m going to the inner city. When I come back, our money problems will be over. Trust me.”

With that said, Grisha left, and all conversation was ended. He did pause by the door to give Carla a kiss goodbye, as well as an apology, and then he was gone…

For a week.

And then two weeks.

Then three.

And nothing got better. Mama just cried some more and Eren helped out wherever he could, pretending not to hear her sobbing every night, but always making sure to drop by Armin’s old home and make sure his grandfather had tea and bread.

Hannes was there sometimes, chatting or dropping off a basket of snacks or goods of some kind. Eren didn’t know. He wasn’t talking to Hannes anymore, or Mikasa, or anyone else who would spoil his plans, and that meant he wasn’t talking to anyone anymore… except Levi.


End file.
